Mike forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him.
She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."
The next morning, Mike got up really early.
When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the box into the house.
She opened it, and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Mike is not yet well enough to have visitors.